The Inept Buddhist

May the merit and virtue accrued from this work
Adorn the Buddhas’ Pure Lands,
Repaying four kinds of kindness above
And aiding those suffering in the paths below.
May those who see and hear of this
All bring forth the resolve for Bodhi
And, when this retribution body is over,
Be born together in the Land of Ultimate Bliss.

A Christian, a Muslim and a Buddhist die and arrive at the Gate of Heaven. An angel (or deva) stops them and asks, “Why do you come here? Can you tell me the reasons why you are allowed to enter Heaven?”

The Christian replies, “My ancestors disobeyed God, and I sinned all my life: I killed, I lied, I cheated my wife and I was greedy. However, Jesus died for me and all my sins are forgiven. So I deserve to enter Heaven.”

“OK,” replies the Angel. “Sounds good, but I must give you an entrance examination before you can enter.” The Christian promptly agrees and the Angel asks him: “How do you spell God?” It is an easy question, and the Christian passes through the Gate.

Next came the Muslim, who says, “I did not do any especially good or evil things during my life but I was very devout. I prayed to God five times a day. So, I too should enter Heaven.” The Angel replies, “It sounds OK to me, but I have to give you a test also. How do you spell Allah?” The Muslim passes the test and enters Heaven.

Finally, it is the Buddhist’s turn. He tells the Angel, “I’ve done all the good things in my life and I followed Buddha’s five precepts: I never killed, I donated to charities, I meditated every day, and I never cheated my boss nor my customers.” The Angel replies, “That is very good, but there are no exceptions. You must pass the entrance test also in order to get in.” Thinking that the test should be simple, the Buddhist happily agrees.

The Angel then asks him: “How do you spell Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva?”

This is the wording of the 3 refuges and Bodhisattva vow I received at Dharma Drum.

1. I take refuge in the Buddha; I take refuge in the Dharma, I take refuge in the Sangha.
2. I have taken refuge in the Buddha; I have taken refuge in the Dharma; I have taken refuge in the Sangha.
3. I vow to cultivate the Buddha-Dharma, to uphold the Three Jewels, and never give up the faith.
4. I vow to deliver all sentient beings; I vow to cut off all vexations; I vow to learn all approaches to the Dharma, I vow to attain Supreme Buddhahood.

Yet another attempt in keeping a blog about the things that are happening for and with me. Sometimes there will be questions asked, or statements made...if you have anything to say on these, by all means pipe up and let me know what you're thinking.